NIGHTBIRDE shared an emotional message about her relationship with "God" and the "extreme circumstances" that have troubled her in her cancer battle.
The star made a surprise return to the show earlier this week after leaving to focus on her stage four breast cancer.
Nightbirde, also known as Jane Marczewski, 30, took to to admit that sometimes her "life is too much to bear" as she battles the ferocious disease.
The vocalist shared a photo of herself sitting in the desert and painting the landscape as she spoke about her connection with "God."
She began: "My life with God has been a complicated one and I can't really say the complications have been entirely my fault.
"I think a fair assessment would be that we've each allowed the other to experience at least some degree of disappointment in our friendship. I've misunderstood him.
"I'm pretty sure he's always understood me but he hasn't been necessarily vocal about it. It's not easy being friends with people and friendship with God is no different."
Nightbirde continued: "Life is complicated and friendship with God does not make life less complicated. But as I get older I am realizing that I would not have it any other way.
"Internally I sometimes wish that life would be perfect rather than just occasionally good. But I think it's a mistake to presume that a perfect world would be better than a free world."
She added: "Love needs a place to live and grow and prove itself and that can only happen where tragedy is possible. Still, sometimes life is too much to bear.
"Occasionally an extreme circumstance interjects itself into your life and your 'live, laugh, love' sign proves to be even more absurd than it normally does.
"I have a sign. It hangs in my heart and goes like this: 'Have Mercy On God.' Forgive me if this offends you but I have a better friendship with God because I remain soft-hearted and tender toward him in a life where sometimes nothing makes sense."
Nightbirde's post followed her earlier this week, which led show executive , 61 to break down in tears.
As the singer joined the show on Zoom, the British television personality agreed that "health is your priority right now" and reassured her that she "hasn't let anyone down."
Despite having to leave the competition early to focus on , Simon claimed she had "already won" in the eyes of America.
The show producer then broke down as he told the contestant: "On behalf of all of us here, we’re sending you our love, our prayers, and we can’t wait to see you again soon. "
After sending in her video audition tape, she immediately and the other judges with a moving performance of an original song called It's Okay.
Then, Jane announced last week that she would be series to focus on her battle with metastatic breast cancer.
She penned on Instagram: "I am so sad to announce that I won’t be able to continue forward on this season of AGT.
“Life doesn’t always give breaks to those that deserve it - but we knew that already.”
